the rehearsal of sound.jazz/jazz men. basquiat. the night before the poem. the morning after.1998. my mothers eyes. my fathers character. mangoes.

to love oneself : a journey

I have mourn many relationships this year and grown abundantly in others. It is a played out story. The one where I lay my body out to dry. This year is about the quenching of thirst. My body constantly diving and needing to meet ocean floor.

My heart has known love it’s whole life, death too, but love is what I now choose to speak of, love of self.

My mother always told me, a girl becomes woman when she learns of lost. I imagined the lost to be of romantic nature. That a man would both sweep and hang my feet. It is not, it is all the people who occupy the in between. Those who you have shown your hands to and have squirm and called them too rough. I almost turned myself into dust. I almost let the wrong people call me home. I almost believed I was not enough. I almost convinced myself I was undeserving.

  • black people: all black women are beautiful and need to be protected, defended, kept from sexualization and fetishization at all costs. this is a very specific problem that we black people deal with and must work on to avoid so much sexual abuse which has been statistically shown to occur a lot for black women... specifically.
  • black people: like we're not saying other women don't deserve this but for black women it's a lot different and the problems are much worst due to the historical context they're in and how it permeates to the present time creating very specific problems for them as black women so the problem can't just be generalized to all women. do you understand now?
  • white people: yeah but still dont you mean ALL women?